Surround Yourself 

“A lot has happened in the past year of my life.”

-Every Person Alive

A favorite quote of mine. I can’t cite the specific source because I read everyone’s mind and it came from there.

Anyway. I’m no exception, a lot has happened in the past year of my life. Not all of it was amazing, but not all of it was horrible. (I’m so vague today and I love it. ) But, what happens when people get stressed? More often than not their worst sides come out.

And that happened to me.

I’m horrified to say that for a couple months during winter my post partum depression, and the events that unfolded in our lives led me to be not the best wife ever… And it came as a figurative slap to my face when my husband said to me “I feel like I’ll never be able to make you happy and content”

If I was one to use colorful language… I’d insert it right…. Here. I was heartbroken. I felt like a failure. I’m a stay at home mom and wife. My job is to raise my child and keep a loving, warm, and Christ-centered home. Um. I obviously was missing the mark a bit. Now I don’t want people to be concerned or anything, my husband and I are very much in love and committed to each other, but he was expressing concern for me. I was constantly stressed. And I thank him for saying what he did because he gave me the kick in the yoga pants that I needed.

There is a quote by Martin Luther that I love:

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. 

I wasn’t doing that! And I know why. I wasn’t focusing on Christ in my marriage. I was focusing on me first, then Sebastian. I was so absorbed in taking care of my metal health and well-being that that became a bigger priority than most things. Don’t get me wrong. I HAD to focus on my mental health so I could be a good wife and mom. But making it my #1, my idol, is no bueno. How humbling, horrifying, and depressing is that? (Shout out to Sebastian for his patience with me *high five*) and what’s sad is that it affects my mothering. So what did I do? Well. My husband gave me a gentle-but-not-so-subtle push to the Bible. And then I remembered my Mommy’s voice in my head:

Surround yourself with the Word of God.

So I took it literally. At first I wanted to get cute canvases from Hobby Lobby of Bible Passages or something and hang them up. And then I realized… IT’S GOD’S WORD…. THERE IS NOTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THAT. So I did it the old fashion way…. Thick paper and sharpies 🙂

I put passages around the house that are geared specifically toward that room or what I would be doing when we see it.

When we walk into our home…. 
When I am working in the kitchen…..

When I get ready in the morning…

When I go to bed….

For my husband… (If you know my Marine… You know these passages were specifically chosen for him hehehe)…

When we are in the living room…

When we leave the house….

Now I  do have a Bible Passage in Baby Girl’s room that is a pretty picture from Hobby Lobby. The passage is one of my favorites:

  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” Jeremiah 1:5

The reason I’m telling you this is because, I needed to surround myself with God’s Word. And so do you. I was carrying all my stress and taking it out on my husband. And I am sorry to be the one to say this… But you probably are too. I am by no means the “perfect wife” because of these passages around the house now, BUT they help me focus on Christ which in turns help me focus on my husband. Only when I put Christ first will I ever be able to be at my “mental healthiest”. And when Christ is first, I know I will be able to be a suitable wife.

I love my husband. So thanks Sebastian for dealing with me. Heaven knows I put up with love your annoying unique “quirks”.

Oh. And for those wondering, yes my husband does make me very happy *smiley faces and googley eyes all around!*IMG_1145-0


2 thoughts on “Surround Yourself 

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